Review of Attack of the 50 Foot Cheerleader (2012 Film):

Okay, I’m a 1950’s drive-in geezer, so my standards range from Attack Of The Crab Monsters to Bucket Of Blood. But so what, no one claimed these wacko flicks were Oscar bait or even uptown favorites. Anyway, what a great successor this nonsense entry is to those classics of yesteryear. Instead of the cheezy big bugs from that earlier era, this one’s got 50-foot bazooms that go naked to the world – so who says there’s been no progress in movies. The best they could do in the old days was put tight sweaters on protruding gun boats and let you use your imagination. Here the special effects are almost uptown as the 50-foot cuties roam around in almost convincing style. And catch that revered icon of the drive-in, Roger Corman, giving this flick his imprimatur as the college Dean. Thanks Roger for the timely connection.

And, oh yeah, despite all the sex play, I think I detected some sombre subtexts that deserve passing mention. For one, poor Cassie has to prove herself to sorority snobs if she wants to join the elite. Trouble is that her natural self is so much better. So I guess the lesson is don’t always do what a tradition-bound Mom tells you. Then there’s chemical companies that, oh my gosh, can be ruthlessly greedy, even when normal lives are at stake. Could that be a foreshadowing of Covid-19 in our own day. Anyway, wacko or not, this cheezy sandwich plays with some important themes. Okay, no need to go on. My geezer advice: play the flick in a backseat between smooches and salute Roger Corman for pioneering these sleezy fun-fests.